


With a Little Help For My Friends

by cinder1013



Category: Firefly
Genre: Gen, Jayne is overly friendly, Pre-Slash, ball scratching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 14:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinder1013/pseuds/cinder1013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon has an itch. Jayne has a solution and possibly an ulterior motive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With a Little Help For My Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written April 4, 2006.

Simon shifted. He frowned. He shifted again. Tangling his fingers together behind his back, he bounced on his toes a little, forward, back, to the side. He licked his lips. Bounced again. 

Jayne's arm dropped heavily on his shoulder. Glancing around the bar full of dusty drunks and petty thieves, he asked more loudly than Simon was comfortable with, “Gotta take a piss er somethin'?”

“Jayne!” Simon hissed.

He laughed, sipping at his beer, which was probably his fifth. Simon was still nursing his first. The finicky little brat didn't like to drink things with dirt floating in it. He'd learn. “What is your problem?”

Simon stared at him.

“Well?”

“I ... I have an itch.”

“Itch?”

“Could you keep it down?” Simon begged. 

“Itch?” Jayne said even louder, happily. More quietly, he asked, “In your drawers?”

“Yes, okay?”

“No need to get hostile. Your balls itch or your ass?”

“Jayne!”

“Well?”

Simon blushed. “My ... testicles. Why are we -”

Quite casually Jayne scratched Simon's balls for him. 

“Jayne!”

“You're kind of big down there.” He copped another feel. Simon jumped backwards, hitting the bar and dumping most of his beer on Jayne. “Hey!”

“Well, well, stop it!”

“You're the one who won't scratch his itch. Someone's gotta do something about it.”

“I do not think that's true.”

“Look, your balls ain't droppin' out, so yer drawers are fine. I figure if your balls start droppin' out of your undies, the elastic is shot and at that point, ya gotta get new ones. 'Course, I don't wear them no more, but that's the rule I used to have. So, it's all yer mom can hope for. She label your undies?”

“I am not discussing my underwear with you.”

“I just scratched your balls for you. I figure we're pretty intimate at this point.”

Simon dumped the rest of his beer on Jayne's head and then left in a huff. 

“Last time I scratch your balls!” Jayne screamed after him. 

Mal stared. He looked after the good doctor. He took another sip of his beer. He stared. Picking his way around other customers, he walked up to his somewhat soaked comrade. “So?”

“Big.”

“Really? I mean, we thought ...”

“Yeah, big. There's junk in that trunk.” 

“Huh.”


End file.
